Should be memorizing...

...but I can't focus. I'll be meeting my scene partner 6 hours from now, and I'm sure he's going to be really let down by my shoddy level of preparedness, but it's sorta too damn bad right now.

I've been spending about 16 hours a day at the theatre getting costumes done and subsequently rehearsing for Hair. It is coming along, but my attitude is totally burnt out right now. I feel like a zombie. I can't answer anyone's questions with anything remotely resembling a complete sentence, and once I get a moment to breathe, I'm thinking about precisely the wrong things. I can't think about much right now other than The Boy, and CNBFQ.

I really like CNBFQ in almost every aspect of our interaction. But I miss The Boy, because I love The Boy. I miss him a lot. And I feel guilty for missing him when CNBFQ is so sweet, and so attentive, and so lovely to spend time with. And I feel guilty for spending time with CNBFQ because the boy is telling me that he is sad and lonely without me. Connundrum. Methinks so.

Tennesee Williams beckons, "Learn your Laura, Laura."

I'm coming, Tom. Sorry about the delay.

The Age of Aquarius

The Real Theatre Company (read: my current labor of much much much love) is proud to present...




Reservations are going FAST, so get yours while the gettin's good! I'm very proud of this baby, and of all the work, love and dedication that has gone into it.

BEADS, FLOWERS, FREEDOM, HAPPINESS!

A week out...

It was a very good week. I feel as though this past week was my first official week out in the real world of being a working actor. Until this week, I was spending the majority of my time entertaining a string of out of town guests or lying about in a den of sin for my last few days in the city with the boy. These things were rather enjoyable (sometimes EXTREMELY enjoyable), but did not lend themselves well to my productivity as my own small business. This week, however, I began with a clear head (having said my final goodbyes and washed my hands of the boy), and a positive outlook on this whole wild ride.

I began last Sunday with Maggie, doing promo work for Legally Blonde: The Musical. We had a good time, and got some free shit and a little cash out of the deal. Between us, we managed to flyer about 900 people in Times Square, and still left with our respective dignites intact. We blew through the Entertainment Industry Expo at the nearby Westin, pretending to be important, and settled our exhausted asses into a diner booth before heading home where I passed out from sheer exhaustion. I had one of those naps where you fall asleep at 6 and wake up at 8, but for some reason think that it's 8am the next day. I was hella confused. I ended up staying in bed until the next morning anyway.

Monday I got up, and despite the rain, prettied myself up for my "free consultation" at The Network. It went pretty well, and I think I might find them to be a rather useful resource in the future. It was nice to sort of feel like I was getting actor's work done. Putting feelers out there and gathering information feels like a step in the right direction.

Tuesday we rehearsed for Hair, which always feels like I'm doing something right, or like I'm the luckiest person in the world, to actually be doing what I want to do with my life. I ended the night with a nice long conversation with Jim, the news of a new scene partner, and a phonecall to the parents.

Wednesday was a jam-packed actor day. The morning started with a scene-study class, which I'm so excited about. If nothing else comes of it, at least I get to spend 8 weeks working on the Glass Menagerie. Joy. We then trekked over to Grant Wilfley casting for their open call. On the way, I got a call for an audition for the first national tour of Anne of Green Gables. Guess which part. That audition is on thursday. Woo. After the open call I headed to midtown for another call from Talent Models, which was sketchy as shit, but hey, at least I know now. On my way back home I ran into what will be Crissy's costume for Hair, which made me very happy. I got a call from Maggie to come and meet her in Queens at a practice for a new band-type endeavor, which includes a boy who has been inquiring after me. I went. I met. He's cute. Maggie and I leave Astoria and head back to SpaHa for pasta and leaf spinnach, girl talk with linz, and more planning of the groovy revolution.

Thursday is another Hair rehearsal, this time with new musical director, Peter, and a great deal of naked parachute playing. Thursday also features a business lunch with John Gallagher, which puts me a bit more at ease about the future of my career. I also chat briefly with Jim Rado before we begin rehearsal, which makes me feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. yay. Before we head out for the night, Kai, Katie and I plan to trek to Coney Island the next morning. Mags and I, Helen and Adam, and Linz and Logan all head down to the pub for pints and late-night dinner. I realize that Maggie and I are kind of a couple. I'm cool with that. We head back uptown far too late for my planned early-morning brooklyn beach extravaganza, but I figure, what the hell.

Friday kicked ass. I did make it to Coney Island with Kai, and we had a kick ass time eating Nathan's hot dogs, lying on the beach, and taking in the mystique that is the Coney. We head home before rehearsal, I make a detour to Reproductions to pick up a photo cd, have some mango gelatto in bryant park, and go home to clean up before rehearsal. By this point I've developed a pretty bitchin' sunburn. Don't worry. It was gone by saturday. We rehearse, which includes staging the be-in, which I ADORE. We go out for drinks at FUBAR of all places, and I make it home happy as a clam, and to find that I've been asked out by cute boy from queens on wednesday. Life is good.

Saturday finds me in the park, drinking a little beer, smoking a little pot, trying to embody the hippie ideals. However, it's a little cold, and Katie and I decide to give up the ghost in favor of sweatshirts and GROM, the UWS gelatto hotspot. It's worth the wait in line. As she and I are standing there, trying to savor the flavor but still eat the stuff before it melts, I get a call from The Boy, whom I haven't heard from in close to two weeks. I tell him I can't talk now, I've got my hands full of gelatto. Katie and I part ways, and I return his call. We decide that we've reached a similar conclusion - we shall not talk any more this summer. That's good with me. I wish him well and hang up. Sit on a bench on the eastern edge of the park for a few minutes before I head home. I get another call - this one from the cute new boy, wanting to meet me that night. As I'm trying to call him back, I get another call from The Boy. What? Isn't this contrary to the nature of the newly formed agreement? He is apologizing. I tell him I'm not mad. And that he should leave me alone now. And goodbye, again. I make plans to meet cute new boy from queens (heretofore: CNBfQ) before heading to the HAIR sleepover planned for that evening.

Date with CNBfQ is fantastic. We share common theatrical interestes, which is really nice, being that mine are a bit strange. We have a good time, good conversation, and before I know it one drink has turned into 4 and I'm REALLY late for this party. And my phone is ringing. I'm expecting Maggie, wondering where the hell I am, but NOOOOOOO, it's a drunk-dial from The Boy. He seems shocked when I tell him I can't talk (again, nature of the agreement) because I'm on a date. "A what?". A date. You know, when you take someone out to get to know them better? Date. You should try it, Boy. CNBfQ and I end up making a very late appearance at the party, and making out on various SpaHa streetcorners. I agree to see him again monday.

Today I woke up hungover as all shit and wallered until about 1:30. I also have a mysterious sore spot on my forehead, as though I fell or smacked into something, but I definitely don't remember that happening. It feels like it's gonna be a bruise, but for the life of me I don't know what from. I saw a matinee of a few friend's new company's show. I watched the Tony's. I felt inspired. I found out that Avenue Q has auditions...tomorrow. I figure I'm not ready. Maybe I'll try my hand tuesday.

I feel good. Good things are happening. The universe is bringing me some pretty bad-ass energy right now. And I dig it.